Power Playbook

The #1 Way to Succeed at Work (Hint: It’s Not What You Think)

I sort of stumbled into a routine early in my career that drove MOST of my success to date.

I remember a very snarky art director once saying “if you don’t like what my team designed, then do it yourself.” And so I did.

I contacted IT and asked them to install Photoshop on my computer. And I taught myself (out of spit..aka my #1 motivator) how to design banner ads and graphics.

I got my first promotion and raise only a few months later.

And that’s when I realized that the more I learned and the more skills I acquired, the faster I’d climb.

So for the next 10 years I systematically chose skill after skill to dive into and try to master. I’d even ask during my reviews “what’s important for me to learn about the business next?” Some I was great at, some I wasn’t. Some I enjoyed, and others I hated (hello copywriting).

What I learned…

The #1 way to succeed at work is to keep learning. Continuing to learn new skills, sharpening the ones you already have, and pushing yourself into new, sometimes uncomfortable, territory is the secret sauce to long-term success. Why? Because growth happens when you’re just a little bit out of your comfort zone AND people will take notice! You’ll stay on people’s radar for the sheer fact that you’re trying! You’ll be amazed at the doors that open.

PLUS it will do wonders for you mental health. Let me explain…

You know that feeling of being stuck. When every day feels like you’re just going through the motions? You hate it, but can’t really put your finger on exactly what needs to change.

Continuous learning is the antidote to that AWFUL feeling.

You will be amazed at how your brain wakes up when you learn a new skill. You’ll feel more motivated and more assured in your path forward.

But here’s the most amazing part: continued education doesn’t just help you grow; it’s also a proven way to kick imposter syndrome to the curb.

When you learn something new and succeed at it, you build confidence. When you build confidence, you start to feel more assured in your abilities, and those nagging doubts that you’re not good enough? They start to fade away.

So if you’re ready to jump in and learn some new skills here’s a great way to start:

Take stock of what skills, departments, or individual people drive the most value or revenue in your business. What do they know that you don’t?
Like I did, ask your boss “what skills would I benefit from learning or sharpening in order to move to the next level at this organization?”
OR just let your passions guide you! What do you REALLY REALLY want to know how to do?

And if you’re ready to sharpen your communication skills. Well you know I’ve got you!

Now For a Challenge. Ready to Get Uncomfortable?

I challenge you to embrace a little discomfort. Pick one thing that feels just slightly out of your comfort zone—whether it’s leading a new project, learning a new skill, or connecting with someone outside your usual network. Growth happens on the edge of discomfort, and that’s where you’ll find your next big win.

So, what’s it going to be? Take the leap, and let’s see where it takes you!

The Truth About Imposter Syndrome: It’s Them Not You

Let’s dive into something that might make you go, “Ah, that’s why!”—getting clear on your triggers at work. You know that feeling when self-doubt creeps in, and suddenly you’re questioning everything from your abilities to why you even took the job in the first place? Yeah, that’s not just in your head, and it’s not something you can always control.

The Truth About Imposter Syndrome

We often hear that imposter syndrome is an internal battle—a mix of perfectionism, anxiety, and that pesky self-doubt we all deal with. But here’s the truth: research shows that external factors in your work environment play an even bigger role in fueling those feelings..

Think about it—systemic bias, microaggressions, toxic bosses, or just plain bad workplace culture. These are the real culprits behind the scenes, pushing your buttons and making you feel like you’re not enough. In the absence of these types of environments you’re just feeling normal human self-doubt. That most people are capable of navigating through. But it’s time to take control by getting clear on what’s really triggering these feelings.

Note: you might not CURRENTLY be in an environment like I’m describing. But past experiences have a way of making a lasting mark. Your current anxieties and feelings of being a “fraud” could be rooted in past experiences.

The Power of Tracking Your Triggers

One powerful tool to manage imposter syndrome is to recognize and even track and/or reflect on these external triggers. Start by asking yourself, what environmental factors are triggering these unhealthy levels of self-doubt? What’s happening around you that’s making you feel like a fraud?

Here are a few examples I personally have experienced:

Being offered a promotion on a “probationary period” while I “proved myself.” Meanwhile male counterparts NEVER being asked to jump any similar hurdle.
Being told “titles don’t matter” or “give yourself whatever title you want” after taking on a promotion. And subsequently feeling like an imposter for YEARS.
Backhanded compliments like “I’m amazed at how much you know for frankly how young you look.”

I could write a book full of examples like this. (and maybe I should)

But here’s how you can get better at recognizing that it’s NOT all in your head:

Start a Trigger Journal: Keep a journal specifically to note instances when external factors contribute to your self-doubt. It could be a comment from a colleague, a microaggression, or even the way your boss handles feedback. Write it all down.
Identify Patterns: Periodically go back through your notes and see if any patterns emerge. Are the same situations or people triggering you? This awareness is the first step to understanding that these feelings are not about your abilities—they’re about your environment.
Reframe and Strategize: Once you’re clear on what’s triggering you, it’s time to reframe. Acknowledge the impact these external factors have, but don’t let them define you. Instead, start forming strategies to mitigate these triggers. Maybe it’s setting boundaries, addressing the issue directly, or even just reminding yourself that these feelings are a response to external factors, not a reflection of your worth.

Why This Matters

By getting clear on your triggers, you’re not just managing imposter syndrome—you’re taking back your power. You’re recognizing that while you can’t always control your environment, you can control how you respond to it. This awareness leads to a healthier self-perception and a stronger, more confident you.

Now For A Challenge…

I challenge you to start a Trigger Journal. Start to jot down moments at work, or at home, that make you doubt yourself—whether it’s a comment from a colleague or a stressful situation. And then get curious. At the end of the month or the quarter look for patterns and see what’s really driving those feelings. Awareness is the first step to taking back your power!

NOTE: I’m not encouraging create this journal to eventually share with HR or your boss (unless that’s necessary). For the most part, this is for you! It’s a tool to help you get out of your head, open your eyes, and realize that you are actually amazing. You’re perfectly suited for the role you’re in. IN FACT, you have succeeded despite the uphill climb and shit you have to trudge through.

Power Playbook

The Leadership Skill No One Talks About

Let’s talk about something a lot of us avoid like the plague—sharing our failures. I know, it sounds about as fun as a root canal, but trust me, there’s magic in it.

As leaders, we’re often expected to have all the answers, to be the ones steering the ship through calm seas and stormy weather alike. But here’s the thing—no one expects you to be perfect (except maybe yourself). So why not let your team in on a little secret? You’re human too.

Celebrating Wins and Failures: A Leadership Power Move

When I was leading big teams, I made it a point to share what I was working on, whether it was mastering a new skill, negotiating a bigger deal, or just plain taking a risk. And you know what happened? My team started to celebrate with me when I nailed it, and more importantly, they learned with me when I didn’t.

This isn’t just about being transparent (though that’s important). It’s about creating a culture where everyone feels safe to take risks, make mistakes, and grow from them. It’s about building *psychological safety*—that warm, fuzzy feeling that comes from knowing your team has your back, no matter what.

We even had a phrase baked into the entire company’s culture:

“Fail Fast and Fail Cheap”

Why This Matters: Imposter Syndrome and Psychological Safety

Ever feel like you’re one misstep away from being “found out”? That’s imposter syndrome, and it loves to thrive in environments where people feel isolated in their struggles. But when you share your journey— chin hairs and all—you’re not just humanizing yourself; you’re reducing that nasty imposter syndrome for everyone.

When your team sees you, the leader, embracing both your wins and your failures, they start to feel like it’s okay for them to do the same. They stop attributing their successes to luck or external factors and start owning them. And let’s be real—if you’re comfortable talking about your challenges, they’re more likely to bring theirs to the table too.

How to Get Started

So how do you put this into action? Start small. Here are a few ways to weave this mindset into your leadership style:

1. Share Your Journey: Next time you’re tackling something new, let your team in on it. And go into detail! Really open up and make them a part of the journey.

2. Encourage Team Transparency: Make it a norm for everyone to share their own challenges and successes in team meetings. You’ll be amazed at how quickly this builds trust and openness.

3. Reframe Failures as Learning Opportunities: When something doesn’t go as planned, reframe it as a learning opportunity. Ask, “What did we learn?” instead of “What went wrong?”

By doing this, you’re not just leading a team—you’re creating an environment where everyone feels valued, supported, and, yes, even safe enough to fail. And that, my friend, is leadership at its finest.

Now For A Challenge…

I want to challenge you to elebrate a risk you took—whether it was a win or a flop. Share it with your team and talk about what you learned. Why? Because when you openly embrace risks and learning, you create a culture where everyone feels safe to grow.

Here’s your mission: Pick one risk you’ve taken recently, and discuss it in your next team meeting. This can be something big or small…at work or even at home. Break down what worked, what didn’t, and what you’re taking away from the experience. This simple action can transform how your team views challenges and setbacks.

Let’s make learning from our fumbles the new leadership superpower.

Now go be human! 🙂

Power Playbook

You’re Taking This Too Personally

“You’re taking things too personally in team meetings.”

“You’re not coming across as a team player.”

“You’re always focused on the tiny details rather than the big picture.”

These are all too common pieces of feedback that women hear at work. And they’re not just frustrating—they’re pretty good examples of systemic bias.

But let’s focus on the feedback itself for now…

These types of statements are:

Accusatory
Personal
Overly vague

And VERY frustrating.

Often, they’re delivered to women as “helpful advice,” maybe even a poor attempt at coaching or mentorship. But real coaching and mentorship should look very different.

Today, I want to show you what that looks like by diving into my approach to the 5A Feedback Model. While the 5A Model is common, I’ve adjusted the “A’s” just a bit to focus on coaching/mentorship rather than simply providing feedback:

The 5A Coaching Model:

1. Ask for Permission

Unlike the accusatory statements that catch people off guard, I always begin by asking for permission to provide feedback. This isn’t just a polite formality—it’s about ensuring they’re ready to engage in a constructive conversation.

2. Acknowledge the Positive

In real coaching, it’s essential to acknowledge what the person is doing well. This step is crucial because it builds trust and confidence. It also ensures that the conversation isn’t just about pointing out flaws but about recognizing strengths.

3. Provide Actionable Feedback

This is where the real coaching happens. Instead of vague criticisms like “you’re not a team player,” Provide specific, actionable feedback. For example, “I’ve noticed that in meetings, your detailed focus is excellent, but it might be beneficial to also bring up how these details tie into the larger team goals.”

4. Align with Their Goals

This is where coaching diverges from simple feedback. Make sure to align the feedback with their personal goals, values, and intentions. By doing this, you’re help them see how the changes we’re discussing will help them grow in their career.

If you aren’t sure of their goals…ask them and then practice active listening!

5. Agree on the Next Steps

Finally, instead of leaving them with vague advice, work with them to agree on the next steps. This ensures that they leave the conversation with a clear action plan and a sense of ownership over their development.

Remember that we should approach ALL hard conversations from a place of growth.

By using the 5A Coaching Model, our goal is to turn feedback from something that feels accusatory and personal into a constructive tool for growth.

Now For A Challenge…

Now that you have an idea of how using the 5A Coaching Model can transform vague, accusatory feedback into constructive, empowering coaching it’s time to put that knowledge into action.

I challenge you to practice the 5A Coaching Model with someone on your team. Here’s how:

Ask for Permission: Start by asking them if you can share some feedback. This sets the tone for a respectful, open conversation.
Acknowledge the Positive: Highlight something specific they’re doing well. Everyone loves to be recognized for their strengths.
Provide Actionable Feedback: Give them one piece of feedback that is clear, specific, and actionable. Make sure it’s something they can work on right away.
Align with Their Goals: Connect the feedback to their personal or professional goals. Help them see how this feedback will help them grow.
Agree on Next Steps: Collaboratively decide on the next steps. What will they focus on? How will you support them?

By taking these steps, you’ll not only be providing valuable guidance but also building trust and encouraging growth.

BONUS: Reflect on how you felt giving feedback this way. Did it feel more constructive and collaborative? Did the person you coached respond positively?

Remember, real coaching isn’t about critique—it’s about building people up.

Power Playbook

Why You’re Not That Lucky…

Today, I want to dive into a topic that’s close to my heart: how we talk to ourselves about our success.

Have you ever thought “I’m so lucky I got that opportunity?” Or “I got lucky and they liked my idea.”

Well sorry sister… you’re not that lucky.🍀

You’re just really smart, gorgeous and good at your job. (Hard Stop) ✋

Reflecting and Reframing

This practice involves recognizing and transforming negative self-perceptions to cultivate a more empowering and accurate view of a situation.

So instead of “I got lucky they liked my idea” the reframe is “I did a great job at executing on that project! So happy they recognized that was a great idea!”

Why It Works

When you see your success as a direct result of your efforts and skills, it not only boosts your confidence but also sets a foundation for future achievements. One way to do this is through the use of mantras…

Mantras to Reset Your Self-Talk

The use of mantras resets our mindset, and in this case, helps us shift from attributing success to external factors to recognizing our own hard work and talent. Here’s 3 examples (feel free to personalize these)..

1. “I earned this success through my dedication and hard work.”

2. “My skills and efforts have brought me here. I did this!”

3. “I am capable and deserving of my achievements.”

Building a Positive Self-Image

When you consistently acknowledge your contributions, you build a positive self-image. This self-assurance translates into your daily interactions and decisions, reinforcing your role as a competent and capable leader. Remember, your success is not just a result of circumstances—it’s a testament to your dedication, intelligence, and hard work.

Applying This Approach to Your Team

It’s equally important to apply this mindset when leading your team. Recognizing and celebrating their contributions can boost morale, foster collaboration, and create a positive work environment. Avoid attributing positive outcomes to luck or external factors and instead, highlight the efforts and talents of your team members both collectively and individually here’s a few examples:

Acknowledging Success in Team Meetings

1. “I want to highlight the incredible work the team has done on the recent project. Your dedication and skills made this success possible.”

2. “Let’s take a moment to acknowledge the outstanding collaboration that led to our latest achievement. Well done, everyone!”

3. “The success of our project is a direct result of the hard work and creativity each of you has put in. Thank you for your efforts.”

4. “Your commitment and teamwork have driven us to this milestone. I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished together.”

Acknowledging Individual Contributions

1. “I want to recognize [Name] for their exceptional work on [specific task/project]. Your efforts were crucial to our success.”

2. “Thank you, [Name], for your dedication and creativity in [specific task/project]. You made a significant impact on our results.”

3. “I appreciate the commitment and skill [Name] demonstrated in [specific task/project]. Your contribution was vital to our success.”

4. “Well done, [Name], for your outstanding performance in [specific task/project]. Your efforts were a key part of our achievement.”

Now For a Challenge…

Taking ownership for our own success takes some real mindset shifts. To help you with this I want to challenge you to reframe how you view your achievements and those of your team.

Instead of giving “luck” or “good timing” all the credit, start by celebrating your hard work. Here’s a simple exercise for you:

1. Write It Down: List three recent successes.

2. Break It Down: For each success, write down the specific actions, skills, and efforts that contributed to it.

3. Own It: Reflect on how your unique qualities played a role in these successes.

By doing this, you start to see a pattern of your strengths and capabilities, which is incredibly empowering.

BONUS: it can also show you areas you can lean in harder and drive even more impact and value for your organization.

Remember…you’re not that lucky.

Power Playbook

Assertive vs. Aggressive Communication

“When you want something, you’re like a pitbull until you get it.”

What?! Like the vicious dog people are afraid to own? (they actually are super sweet and sort of a mascot of my hometown of Baltimore City)

But this was said to me as positive feedback during a review early in my career. And this comment stuck with me!

For a long time I was insecure and questioned my likability and my competency as a leader. I’d constantly ask myself: “Am I being too aggressive?”

Let’s clear the air: I WAS NOT and you ARE NOT aggressive.

There is a big different between aggressive and assertive. Assertive communication is essential to leadership. So let’s dive into what assertive communication looks like and how to distinguish it from truly aggressive behavior.

Understanding Assertive Communication

Assertive communication is about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully. It involves standing up for yourself while considering the rights and feelings of others. Here are some key characteristics of assertive communication:

Clarity: You articulate your needs and opinions directly and without ambiguity.
Respect: You respect yourself and others, valuing everyone’s contributions.
Confidence: You maintain a calm and steady tone, showing confidence in your message.
Active Listening: You listen to others and reflect back what they’ve said.

Assertive communication allows you to advocate for yourself and your ideas, making it a powerful tool for career advancement.

Why Assertive Communication is Crucial for Women in Leadership

In male-dominated industries, women often face additional challenges. Assertive communication helps you navigate these challenges by:

Establishing Authority: By being clear and using simple language you project confidence and competence.
Building Trust: Colleagues and team members are more likely to trust and respect you when you communicate assertively.
Encouraging Open Dialogue: Assertiveness promotes a culture of open communication and psychological safety.
Combatting Bias: By consistently asserting your worth and contributions, you challenge stereotypes and biases.

Recognizing Aggressive Communication

Aggressive communication, on the other hand, disregards others’ feelings and rights. It often involves:

Domination: Trying to control or dominate conversations and situations.
Blame and Criticism: Using blame or criticism to get your point across.
Intimidation: Using a loud voice, harsh words, or threatening body language.
Disrespect: Showing little regard for others’ opinions and contributions.

Aggressive communication is toxice and leads to conflict and resentment. Recognizing these behaviors in yourself or others is crucial for fostering a healthy work environment. If you are consistently being spoken to aggressively there is a need for feedback and/or boundaries.

I’m not a vicious dog because I drive towards my goals and ambitions.

I’m a confident and assertive communicator who’s very good at executing! And my bet is that you are too!

So let’s say it loud and proud: BEING ASSERTIVE IS A SUPERPOWER!

Power Playbook

The Pitfalls of Passive Voice for Female Leaders

Using passive voice can subtly undermine authority and clarity, especially for female leaders striving to establish their presence in male-dominated environments. Passive constructions often come across as evasive, unsure, passive and dilute the impact of your message.

Here are a few examples for clarity:

Passive: “It’d be nice if everyone could attend the meeting.”
Active: “We need everyone’s attendance at the meeting.”

Passive: “The document needs to be reviewed.”
Active: “Please review the document before our meeting.”

The active voice is unambiguous and makes it clear who is responsible. This fosters accountability. It also reflects confidence and directness, qualities essential for effective leadership communication.

It might feel “bossy.” But that’s the point. You are the boss!

Using a more active voice is proven to improve executive presence and earn more respect and authority for female leaders.

Let’s talk more about how and when to to use Active Voice:

Verbal vs. Email Communication

In verbal communication, passive voice can make a leader appear less assertive. Imagine you’re addressing your team about missed deadlines:

Passive: “Deadlines were missed.”
Active: “We missed the deadline last week.”

The active voice here is crucial. It acknowledges the issue directly and sets the stage for a constructive discussion about solutions.

In email communication, passive voice can lead to misunderstandings and lack of clarity. Additionally, emails are often referred back to for information and guidance, so clarity is important:

Passive: “Could you try to submit the report sometime Thursday?”
Active: “I need the report by noon on Thursday, please.”

Using active voice in emails ensures that the message is unmistakable, which is particularly important in written communication where tone and intention might be harder to interpret.

With all of that said, passive voice isn’t always bad…

When Passive Voice Can Be Helpful

Despite its pitfalls, there are scenarios where passive voice can be beneficial, especially in establishing psychological safety in meetings and team brainstormings. For instance, when discussing a collective failure or a sensitive issue, passive voice can soften the message and reduce feelings of personal attack:

Scenario: A team meeting to review a missed deadline.
- Active: “Overall, communication should have been clearer.”
- Passive: “Communication could have been better.”

In this context, the passive construction can be a strategic choice to focus on the issue rather than assigning direct blame, which can help maintain team morale and encourage open dialogue about how to improve.

Balancing Act

The key is to balance clarity and empathy. Communicate with power and confidence using an active voice. But think strategically about how passive voice can be a useful tool for creating a supportive environment when used sparingly and strategically.

Putting It into Action

Next time you’re drafting an email, take a moment to re-read it with a critical eye for passive voice. Start editing out passive constructions wherever possible. This practice will help you recognize your passive voice habits and make your communication more direct and effective.

Steps to Take:

Identify Passive Constructions: Look for sentences where the action is performed on the subject rather than by the subject. For example, “The report was completed by the team” can be changed to “The team completed the report.”
Rewrite Actively: Convert passive sentences to active ones. Instead of “Mistakes were made,” write “We made mistakes.”
Clarify Responsibility: Ensure that your sentences clearly indicate who is responsible for each action. This promotes accountability and clarity in your communication.

By consistently practicing this editing process, you’ll become more aware of your passive voice tendencies and improve your overall communication skills. It’s a simple but powerful step toward becoming a more effective and respected leader.