Category: If I’m Being Honest

If I'm Being Honest

Why Failure is a Gift Worth Celebrating

This month Meredith Kleeman interviewed Denise Dettingmeijer, the CFO of Medical Solutions, and I think you’ll find the results as insightful and inspiring as we did.  This interview resonated SO deep…

Tell us about a noteworthy mistake you made at work, and the lesson you learned from that event. 

The first time I made a financial mistake that was bigger than I was worth, meaning bigger than my salary, happened early in my career. I was new to a job, and new to working in Europe. I was asked to send over foreign currency revenue figures, and being new to the job and to the international markets, I did just that, but it wasn’t the right thing to do.

I misunderstood the use of what I was being asked to do, which made the figures I  sent the wrong figures that ultimately negatively affected the result of a hedging calculation. (Editor’s note: hedging is a risk management strategy that offsets losses in investments by taking an opposite position in a related asset.) 

My boss called me and said, “Denise, you f*#&ed up.” I replied “Yes, I did. Am I fired?” He laughed and told me “You’re going to have to make a hell of a lot bigger mistake than that to get fired.”

My boss asked me to write up exactly what happened, and I ended up writing the new policy for hedging within the company. The company used that policy the entire time I worked there. 

That mistake gave me the power to feel more comfortable making mistakes. I learned that we could fix that mistake, and I learned that when we fixed it it would be better than it was. I also learned that it’s important to give context when you’re asking for things to happen. When I made that mistake, I thought to myself, ‘I should have known that, I should have asked why, I should have understood the context.’ 

From then on I always emphasized the importance of context. I encourage everyone to ask “Why?” I even tell my team to ask five different questions to gain enough information to execute the task. It could be: Why do you need this? What are you going to do with this? Why do you want to know that? I want my team to really dig into what the other party is requesting. (Editor’s note: When arranging this interview, Denise employed her own advice about asking questions to gain clarity, and we’re so happy she did!) 

You might be in the early stages of your career and feel uncomfortable posing these questions to a superior, but as an employee at your company, you have a right to know. In any role you have the permission to engage. I believe we’ll make way better decisions if people feel great about sharing their thoughts and how to do things. 

Now I’m comfortable asking questions and being asked questions back. And I’m a huge fan of letting people make mistakes! I learned from my own mistake that we can fix it and we can work through it. 

What’s a significant conversation you’ve participated in, and what was the outcome?

I find that the most impactful and meaningful conversations occur any time we’re talking about strategy. 

Because I played softball in college, there’s a team aspect to engaging in strategy discussions. I have that mindset of ‘We gotta win!’ And if you’re not here to win, and to bring the company forward and ensure that all of your staff have a viable and amazing job to do, why are we doing it? If the client isn’t satisfied, why are we doing it?

When discussing strategy around growth, we dig into a multitude of questions—where the company’s headed, and what mergers, acquisitions or partners we’ll make. How will we run operations in that context? What are our financial targets?

Those conversations are so impactful because you end up with an outcome of alignment, direction and speed of performance. Or, on the other hand, you end up with a very clear understanding that people don’t align or agree. 

If you enter a conversation about strategy and you think people are on board when they’re not, that’s the worst condition you can be in. If they tell you they’re not on board, that’s a gift too. 

I think any kind of strategic discussion, even among the executive leadership team, is so critical to know who’s in alignment, and who might be agreeing to disagree. Then you can end the discussion by high-fiving to go forward to achieve your strategic aim. 

These conversations are the most thrilling because even if they end up in a redirection or a debate, they’re critical to achieving the company’s goals. I’m in it to win it, because if we’re not changing, we’re not moving forward. 

What makes you feel powerful?

Being a role model energizes me, but that wasn’t always the case. 

Early on in my career, when I was in my 30s, I was asked to join a women’s network and become an operating leader. I declined because I didn’t want to be noticed in that way. I already felt odd enough as a woman working in the finance side of manufacturing, where there were so few women, and I didn’t want the additional scrutiny. 

My CEO at the time called me in and gave me a talking to. He said, “People are watching you, whether you like it or not. You’re a role model, whether you like or not. You can stick your head in the ground, or you can accept it and help people.”

He gave me this great lecture and I walked away thinkng, ‘I don’t want to be a role model. I just want to do my job and be recognized for my job.’ 

But over time, that power of being a role model and knowing people are watching crystallized for me. 

Every time I speak, or give a presentation or an interview, people are watching. They’re watching not just because I’m a CFO, but because I’m the one on the stage, or I’m the one who’s speaking in the interview. 

That knowledge becomes your super power. It reminds you to exhibit all the behaviors that you would love the culture to be. 

There is a lot of stress that comes with it. There are days when people ask “How are you?” and I just want to respond with a sigh. But being able to say, “Good, how are you?” with enthusiasm keeps people moving. There’s a lot of pressure, but it feeds me now instead of drains me. 

I feel like it really changed when I had my daughter. When I had my little girl, I thought ‘She’s not going to battle this world like I had to.’ That’s fuel for me. 

You have to be the role model you want your team and your staff to model. Be the leader you want them to be, be the human you want them to be. It’s everything that they see you as: be the woman, be the female leader, be the professional. I get fueled now by being the best I can be at that role for the people watching me. 

About Denise Dettingmeijer

Denise oversees all financial functions and operations for Medical Solutions, a health care staffing firm. Before joining the team in 2023, Denise served as CFO of Randstad North America and Global Businesses, as well as the Managing Director of Global Finance Transformation. Denise is an active advocate of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB). She served on an Executive Diversity Council and helped establish several DEIB business resource groups.

If I'm Being Honest

THE BEST Salary Negotiation Tip from JPMorgan Chase Executive

This month our staff writer Meredith Kleeman interviewed Alicia Wilson, the Managing Director and Head of Regional Philanthropy for North America at JPMorgan Chase. Her story is incredible, and I think you’ll love it.

Alicia’s journey is such a powerful reminder that we all have something valuable to contribute, no matter where we are or who we’re with.

Tell us about a noteworthy mistake you made at work, and the lesson you learned from that event.

I’m a lawyer by trade, and when I first started practicing, many times I’d be in board rooms, in conversations, or in dialogues where I was the “only.” I would be the only woman, the only African-American, or the youngest person in the room.

That can sometimes make you feel like you should let the older person or the people in the majority take the lead. You might think that the good ideas are probably already sitting around the table. The mistake in that is not recognizing that you’re at the table for a reason.

Early on in my career I represented labor unions, and I remember being on a negotiation team for the Baltimore City principals union. There was an older individual on the team, and I was the younger team member. I remember being in the room and feeling very overwhelmed. I was the youngest, I was the only African-American on the team, and I was the only woman on the team. My partner and I would meet outside of the negotiation room and I would bring up certain points, and he would say, “Why didn’t you say that in the room?”

And I realized I was supposed to say that in the room. It doesn’t mean that you’re out of turn, or out of line, or any of those things. He told me, “I don’t have those same points in my head, I’m not thinking about things in that way. You, as a black woman who grew up in the city, who went to city schools, you will approach these things in a very different way than I approach them.”

That’s the value of diversity, and the value of having different viewpoints around the table — people see things with different perspectives.

Because of that critical moment, I now take the responsibility to speak in the room very seriously, and raise issues that others may not raise. We all come into the room with our sense of experiences, our own biases, our own lens.

Your voice is valuable, and maybe even more valuable when you are the “only” or the youngest demographic in a room. It’s almost obligatory for you to utilize your voice in that setting to bring into the room those who are not at the table, and the ideas that are not at the table, and the raising of issues that wouldn’t be brought, but for you being at the table.

It’s a valuable lesson in helping individuals find their voice, but it’s also a great lesson for us as leaders. When we’re in a room and we have people who are more junior than us, or individuals who are totally opposite from our demographic, we ought to make the environment accessible.

Understand that your voice matters, your voice has impact, and you’re in the room for a reason. Ultimately, if you find that you can’t be a valued voice in the room, you probably don’t want to be in that room anyway.

What’s a significant conversation you’ve participated in, and what was the outcome?

My most significant conversations, and a piece of significant advice I’ve received, is around salary negotiations. As women, that’s a conversation we don’t talk about enough.

One of my mentors told me that when you’re asked in an interview, “What’s your number? What amount do you want?” that you shouldn’t actually reply with a figure. What you should say is: “I want the full value of the seat.”

By saying that, you’re conveying that you want whatever the upper limit is, because you can start bidding against yourself if you simply say a number. You’re signaling that you don’t want to see a pay differential between you and someone who’s doing the same thing. You’re essentially saying “I want to be paid at the top.”

Most people are hesitant about salary negotiations, but I don’t shy away from that conversation. I’m saying, “I want what you’ve budgeted for, I want that full amount.”

In my experience, people perk up because they understand you’re serious about the negotiation. They understand that you get the economics of hiring.

You have to do your research to understand what that number is. If you don’t get the full value of the seat, you’re always going to be playing catch up. And if the answer is, “We’re not going to give you the full value of the seat,” wouldn’t you rather know that going in?

What makes you feel powerful?

I pray every morning before I go into work. I pray before meetings, I pray before hard conversations. The prayer is: I can do all things through Christ. That gives me confidence—even when I might be by myself, I’m not alone, in whatever setting I may find myself in. Sometimes I’m the only one in that room, or I may be the youngest, or this or that. That helps me to realize that I’m there for a bigger purpose and that I’m not alone. I should have the confidence and strength to do whatever I need to do.

About Alicia Wilson

In her role at JPMorgan, Alicia oversees the local philanthropic strategies across over 40 markets in North America, which includes helping to steward the $2 billion philanthropic commitment as part of the firm’s broader Racial Equity Commitment. Prior to joining JPMorgan, Alicia served as Vice President of Economic Development for Johns Hopkins University and Johns Hopkins Health System.

She currently serves on the boards of Johns Hopkins University, the University of Maryland School of Law Board of Visitors, the CollegeBound Foundation, Kennedy Krieger Institute, and the France-Merrick Foundation. For her accomplishments and public service, Alicia has received over 50 professional awards and honors.  Most recently, Alicia was recognized as the 2024 Voice of Justice Honoree by the University of Baltimore School of Law, as one of the Power 50 Women of Influence for 2024 by the US Black Chamber of Commerce, and was recognized as one of the 15 Black Marylanders to Watch for 2023 by the Baltimore Sun.