Category: Business

We all know that being a leader isn’t always a walk in the park. As leaders, we often find ourselves in situations where we cannot choose who we manage. We inherit employees when we take on a new role or someone we thought was going to be great turns out to be extremely difficult. It happens all the time. And it really can suck. It’s important to remember that our primary responsibility is to lead our team towards a shared purpose, not to become best friends with everyone.

My experience with a VERY difficult employee…

I once managed an employee for over four years who was, let’s just say, a complainer. Working closely with them every day was a true test of my patience and emotional resilience. By the time I moved on to a new position, just being around this person made my blood pressure skyrocket. I would avoid even looking at them. 

Yet, when I finally confided in my boss and mentor about my struggles, his response was, “I had NO idea!” This situation highlighted an important aspect of leadership: it wasn’t my job to gossip or complain about my team but to manage my emotions and maintain professionalism.

But look, I know first hand that managing our emotions in these situations it’s not easy. 

So to help you out, I’ve pulled together some practical tips for this uniquely annoying situation. I’ve drawn from what worked for me as well as pulled in some expert advice from Rebecca Knight’s  Harvard Business Review article, and a great book: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High. 

How to Manage Our emotions….

1. Focus on Behavior, Not Personality: It’s critical to separate the person from their behavior. This helps in dealing with the issue objectively without personal biases because, frankly, you don’t like them as a person (which is ok, but needs to be kept in check) What this looks like:

• “I’ve noticed that you’ve been interrupting others during meetings, which disrupts the flow of discussion.”

• “When you miss deadlines, it impacts the entire team’s schedule and progress.”

• “Your emails often come across as harsh, which can be misinterpreted by team members.”

2. Set Clear Expectations: Clearly define what acceptable behavior, tone, language…etc looks like and outline next steps for failing to meet these expectations. According to Knight’s HBR article, “laying out clear expectations and consistent consequences is key to managing toxic behavior.” 

3. Separate Intent from Impact: It’s important to understand that the impact of someone’s actions may differ from their intent. Approach them with curiosity and the benefit of the doubt. Here’s an example of this in action: 

• “Your feedback is valuable, but the way it was delivered came across as dismissive. Can you explain what you were aiming to achieve with that feedback?”

4. Master Your Stories: This is a GREAT lesson found in Crucial Conversations. When something happens, we often create a narrative in our minds about why it happened. These narratives can shape how we feel and react. Before reacting, pause and ask yourself if the story you’re telling is the only possible explanation. Imagine someone on your team is sarcastic or passive aggressive in a meeting:
   1. Your initial story: “They are being sarcastic because they don’t respect me.”
   2. Other possibilities: “Could they be frustrated with the project? Are they having a bad day? Did they misunderstand my proposal?”
   3. Professional Response: “Let’s focus on discussing the proposal constructively. We can address any concerns after the meeting.”
5. Document Everything: Keep detailed records of incidents and communications. Knight emphasizes that “documentation can support any necessary actions,” ensuring you have a clear history of the issues at hand.

We can’t always choose who we work with, but we absolutely can choose our boundaries…

Setting clear boundaries is essential for maintaining your sanity and keeping things professional. Here are three scripts to set you up for establishing boundaries with difficult employees:

1. Being Spoken Too Disrespectfully: “I felt disrespected by the comment/tone you just used. I’d like to talk openly about it. Can you share more about your intention?”
2. Managing Interruptions: “I’m not quite done. I’ll pass it to you in just a minute.”
3. Being Ignored: “I noticed that my request hasn’t been addressed yet. Can you explain why it’s being overlooked?”

Being a leader isn’t about liking everyone on your team. Or being liked by everyone on your team. It’s about mutual respect and professionalism. Managing your emotions is a big part of that journey. By setting boundaries, practicing a growth mindset, and focusing on solutions, you can effectively navigate the challenges posed by difficult employees. 

If you’d like to get even more scripts, frameworks and personalized feedback from me, managing difficult employees is a big topic in my 30 Day Fearless Communication Challenge. (registration opening up again soon!)

Details on the resources mentioned in this article: 

• “How to Manage a Toxic Employee” by Rebecca Knight – Harvard Business Review
• “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

Hey there, Rachel here. I’m a Certified Online Business Manager (OBM) and I specialize in Systems and Processes. You’ll be seeing me in your inbox once a month to outline a framework that you can use to take immediate action in your business or in your life. Let’s dig in!

In our last Power Playbook we dove into ‘What do Great Leaders Do All Day?’.  The reality is that there are several factors that contribute to the recipe for success and we often find that the main ingredient is great communication.  

Imagine having a well-oiled machine where everyone knows what’s happening, when it’s happening, and why it’s happening. Sounds amazing, right?  That’s the magic of a consistent weekly communication rhythm.  Make a copy of the simple, yet powerful framework linked here. 

Here is a quick summary of what you’ll find: 

Monday Prioritization Meeting

Kick off your week with a prioritization meeting. I recommend NOT scheduling this first thing in the morning.  A midday start time will give your team time to check in on what’s cooking and outline their success plan for the week.  

Mid Week Priority Check-In – Keep the Momentum Going

By mid-week, it’s time to check in on progress.  Use this opportunity to check in with your team members one-on-one. These ARE NOT 1-1s to discuss goals, raises…etc. These are short 20-30 min weekly check-ins to ensure your key people have the resources they need, and can share roadblocks. 

End of Week Wrap-Up on Thursday or Fridays

As the week comes to a close, implement a final check in. Use a ‘Bottom Line Up Front’ (BLUF) system to receive progress updates. Feel free to have team members send you an email, designate a slack channel, or if you have the luxury of having a project manager, designate them to provide updates.

Why this Works

This rhythm creates a structured flow that ensures clarity, accountability, and efficiency.  Systems like this create a culture where people know what to expect and when. That breeds physiological safety, which is essential to a healthy business. 

Implementing a structured weekly meeting rhythm might take a bit of adjustment but the benefits are immense.  You’ll find that your team is more engaged, more productive, and more aligned to the vision of the organization.

Remember, you are not just managing tasks – you are leading people and great leaders make communication their superpower!

Go Get ‘Em,

Rachel

Today, we’re diving into a question that’s often asked but rarely answered in detail: “What do great leaders actually do all day?”

Truly great leaders are often hard to pin down or seem extremely busy, but what does their daily routine actually look like? (hint: it’s not all cold plunges and meditation) 

I’ve worked with several billionaires and some of the best leaders in the game. And here’s a peek into how they spent their time and what sets them apart: 

1. Weekly Rhythm of Meetings

Communication is at the heart of leadership. Great leaders prioritize clear and open communication. They have a clearly defined weekly rhythm of meetings, both one-on-one and as a team, to ensure everyone is on the same page. These meetings are pre-scheduled, have clearly communicated purposes, agendas and are treated as sacred.  PLUS…the best leaders I’ve worked with always showed up on time and gave their undivided attention to the people in front of them. 

2. Seeing the Forest Through the Trees

Call them a visionary, a strategic planner, or an innovator…Effective leaders spend a significant portion of their week thinking about the future and looking at the business above its day-to-day tasks and operations. 

It’s SO easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day of the business. But leaders should not be doers (at least not all the time). They carve out time for planning, reviewing data and processes, and adjusting goals and expectations as necessary. 

3. Building Key Relationships

My mentor taught me two career changing strategies for building professional relationships: 

* End every conversation with: “Is there anything I can do to help you right now?” 

* And to share all of our “secrets”

Now, he didn’t mean to give away truly proprietary business information. His point was that we’re only as good as our  next big idea or innovation. Building reciprocity and being of service to other leaders and businesses WILL benefit you down the line. So go out into the world and make connections and share your success stories. And then watch as problems and challenges in your own business become easier to solve thanks to the multitude of resources and people you can call upon for help.

4. Making Decisions

Leaders must be firm decision-makers. They keep the business purpose in mind as they analyze information, weigh pros and cons, and make the most informed choice. And great leaders are not afraid of making a mistake. So much of their job is making the best decision today to keep the business moving forward tomorrow. 

5. They LOVE to Learn

Leadership is a continuous journey of learning and growth. Great leaders dedicate time to their personal development by reading, attending workshops and conferences, and seeking feedback from a coach or mentor. 

Remember, I told you I worked with a few billionaire entrepreneurs in the past? One of them has over 6 Million followers on social media, owns a fleet of jets and helicopters, and is currently planning to open their own bank! This person also blocked entire weeks of their schedule off and dedicated focused time to learning, reflection and planning. 

So often the feeling of being “stuck” is actually just your mind telling you that it’s ready to learn something new!

6. Ending Your Day By Planning Tomorrow

At the end of the day, effective leaders reflect on what got done and what didn’t. They assess what priorities might need to be shifted around the rest of the week. And they plan tomorrow’s Success Plan before they leave the office or go to bed at night. This helps you stay organized and ready to hit the ground running when you walk into the office.

Your Turn to Apply These Habits: 

Think about how you can incorporate these habits into your daily routine. Start by setting clear goals, improving your meeting schedule, and planning tomorrow at the end of the day today. 

Checklist for This Week:

• Set or revisit your team’s purpose and goals.
• Schedule one-on-one meetings to check in with your team members. 
• Practice delegating more off your plate
• Make a decision on a pending issue.
• Reach out to a colleague or industry contact for a chat.
• Read an article or book (pro tip: it’s ok to do this for an hour at work in your office)

Let’s lead with purpose!

Cheers,

Katie

Let’s face it: we all have moments when we need to tackle difficult conversations at work. Whether it’s delivering feedback, addressing conflicts, or discussing sensitive topics like salaries, these conversations can often feel daunting. But fret not! In this article you will learn our 5 step process for turning a difficult conversation into a productive dialogue and actionable next steps. With a systematic approach, you can navigate these tough discussions with confidence. Here are five steps to guide you through hard conversations at the workplace.

1. Decide What Exactly is Making the Conversation Difficult:

Before diving into the conversation, it’s crucial to pinpoint what’s causing the unease. Is it the potential reaction of the other person? Or perhaps it’s the topic itself? Or sometimes it’s just that the other person constantly rubs you the wrong way. Working closely with someone who’s communication, work style, personality, values or life experiences greatly differ from your own has the potential to spark creativity and innovation…or it can also lead to misunderstandings and tension.

Regardless of the reason, understanding the root cause can help you tailor your approach, making the conversation smoother and more constructive. Remember, self-awareness and understanding of both party’s perspectives is the first step to effective communication. It’s a good idea to always start with the assumption that the other person does not mean you any harm. 

2. Think Through If It’s REALLY Worth a Discussion:

Not every concern or issue warrants a full-blown discussion. It’s essential to evaluate the significance of the matter. Ask yourself: Is addressing this problem central to my success and/or well being on the job? If the answer is an easy ‘no’ or the issue is fleeting, perhaps it’s best left unaddressed. And look, we know this is easier said than done when you’re really worked up over something. But being strategic in choosing your battles demonstrates strong emotional intelligence in the workplace. Emotional intelligence is one of your greatest tools in advancing in your career (more on that below).

However, if it’s something that can impact your mental health, your ability to do your  job to the best of your ability, a team’s dynamics, or the company’s progress, it’s worth bringing up. At this point you’ll also want to decide on the best way to set the stage and ask for a conversation. We’ve found that doing this over email is often best. This gives you the opportunity to choose your phrasing and tone carefully. It’s also, frankly, less awkward. 

3. Prepare and Plan Ahead of Time:

Just like preparing for a presentation, hard conversations benefit from a little prep work. Being prepared not only boosts your confidence but also ensures the conversation remains constructive and on track.

First, you’ll want to dig a little deeper into your own feelings. I know…the fun stuff!! 

Psychologist Dan Goleman’s groundbreaking research identifies “emotional intelligence” as the key driver to success in the workplace. Your ability to develop an understanding of your own emotions, triggers and communication styles (and that of your colleagues) will help you build more positive professional interactions in general. This is especially true when emotions are running high in a difficult conversation. 

The first step in this process is to simply get real with yourself and name your feelings. Are you embarrassed, jealous, pissed off, hurt…etc. You’re talking to yourself here, so don’t sugarcoat it. By naming your feeling you immediately loosen its grip on you and give yourself more space to objectively ask yourself why you feel that way and work through the feeling BEFORE talking to the other person. 

Next you need to assess the facts – and your assumptions and biases. Yes, I said it…You are not automatically right.

And finally, develop a strategy and a range of acceptable positive outcomes. DO NOT write yourself a script. You can not predict how the other person will react until you’re in the middle of the conversation. If you practice a script 50 times and the other person reacts in a way you weren’t anticipating, you could be left caught off guard and unprepared on how to proceed. Imagine yourself on stage forgetting a line in a play…not a pretty picture, eh? So remember… a strategy, not a script! 

Note: We are creating a cheat sheet of phrases to use and phrases to avoid during conflict communication and negotiations. Check our Free Resources soon to download when it’s released.

4. Conduct the Conversation:

When it’s time for the talk, choose a private and neutral location. Start with a positive tone stating your intentions clearly. For instance, ” Thank you for agreeing to speak with me. I wanted to discuss this with you because I believe we can find a way to work better together.” Listen actively, be open to feedback, and stay calm, even if the conversation becomes heated. And remember to always try to end the conversation by establishing commitments from both sides. If you can do this, you’ll have made real progress. 

Tip: If you’re providing an employee with constructive feedback on their performance, practice clearly stating your expectations in a direct but friendly tone. Try using the phrase “The expectation is/was…” rather than “I expect you to…”. This approach separates you from the feedback and allows you to come across as though you’re on their team and want to see them succeed. 

5. Follow Through:

The conversation doesn’t end when you leave the room. It’s essential to revisit the discussion, check in on any agreements made, and ensure that both parties are content with the outcomes. This can all be done via a friendly, but direct follow up email. We recommend you always do follow ups in writing. This step reinforces your commitment to resolving issues and ensures there is no miscommunication or misinterpretation of the commitments made by either party.

While hard conversations at work can be intimidating, they’re often necessary for growth and progress. By following these five steps, you can ensure that your discussions are constructive, meaningful, and lead to positive outcomes for everyone involved. So the next time you find yourself dreading a tough talk, remember these steps and face the conversation with confidence!

If you’d like a little assistance in choosing the best phrasing in communicating your feelings or feedback, click here to download our free guide: 34 Conflict and Negotiation Phrases.  It can be hard even knowing where to start a conversation. This will help you enter any conversation with confidence and clarity.